What Was Lost
by HeavenlyBodies
Summary: Cas returns after banishing the angels from the warehouse and is more than a little surprised to find Dean waiting for him. - 5x18 coda


**Warnings/Squicks:** SPOILERS for 5x18, schmangst  
**Disclaimer:** Not mine, never have been, never will be.

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It was late when they got back to Bobby's. The rough rumble of the Impala echoing softly against the walls of scrap yard metal.  
Bobby was equal parts shocked and smug at Dean's return. He'd known Dean had it in him to keep fighting if he'd just see it. He rolled back from the door, allowing the brothers to come in.  
"Where're Cas and Adam?" he asked, worried.

Dean looked away and Sam shook his head. "We don't know," the younger Winchester explained, "Cas got rid of the angels guarding the place and Adam… We just don't know."

Dean headed for the kitchen to grab a couple beers. "Michael probably has him," he growled as he handed bottles to Sammy and Bobby.

"Damn," the older hunter groused. "Well, what's the plan?"

"Tonight," Dean sucked on his beer then looked between the two men, "we sleep. You both look like Hell and I doubt I'm fairing much better. We can't beat these bastards if we're both physically and mentally fucked."

"Dean," Sammy cocked his head in that way that meant 'what the hell are you doing'- he'd been using that look a lot lately.

"Hate to admit it, but Dean's right."

The elder Winchester smirked and took another pull from his beer.

"Don't go puttin' on aires, boy. You're still a God damned idjit for even thinking about agreeing to let Michael wear your meat suit."

"Yeah." Dean sighed setting his beer on the table. "Well, sometimes I need my head pulled outta my ass."

Bobby and Sam shared a satisfied look.

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Dean waited until Sam's light snores filled the living room, before he climbed out of the makeshift bedroll to go outside. He hadn't been able to sleep, Hell, he knew he wouldn't be able to sleep until Cas got back- if the angel came back. He shook himself at the thought. His angel _had_ to come back, there wasn't any other choice in the matter.  
As if on cue the sound of flapping wings and the rush of cool night air filled his senses.  
He turned around to see Cas, bloodied and bare chested, but alive. Rivulets of blood that once marked the spell he'd carved into his flesh covered the healing wounds. "Cas!" He grabbed the angel in a death grip, ignoring the blood soaking into his own clothes.  
Quickly Dean pulled back, girly moments were Sam's shtick not his. "You okay, man?"

"I will be fine," Castiel growled, his anger with the hunter having not yet abated. "I did not expect to see you again."

"Cas," he whispered, wanting to scoff and tell the angel he was a fool if he'd thought he was actually going to go through with it. But Dean knew how close he'd come and Cas didn't deserve lies, especially from him. Instead he admitted, "Kinda surprised myself on that one."

Fathomless blue eyes tried to read his hunter, not understanding what had changed in so short a time.  
"Why?"

Dean huffed out a breath, "Sammy, well part of it. Damn kid still believes in me." Dean was quiet for a moment trying to find the right way to say what he needed his angel to hear. "And part of it… part of it was you. You'd never told me you had faith in me before. In the fight yeah, always, but never in me. I had to prove to myself that you weren't wrong."

"Dean."

"Listen, I know you don't have faith in me anymore, and I deserve that, but you don't."

"I was wrong to say those things." He ducked his head to the side as if hiding from his own words, "I am finding these emotions somewhat difficult."

"Difficult?" The tinge of fear in Dean's voice was palpable, "Cas, you're not…"

"Falling? No," his head shook the hunter's worry away, "I do not believe so. These feelings," the word seemed to feel foreign to the angel's tongue, "are much more intense than anything I have experienced before."

"It's the Apocalypse, Cas. We're all high strung."

"Perhaps." The angel's eyes gleamed in the moonlight as he took a step closer to Dean. His hand reaching out to rub his thumb over the cuts on Dean's face, the ones he had put there. "I'm sorry I hurt you."

Dean covered Cas' hand with his own, holding the warmth to him, "I'm not. I deserved it. I never wanted to hurt you, and I wasn't thinking." His eyes turned downcast and he huffed, "Been doing a lot of that lately."

"And now," the gruff overtones did nothing to hide the hopefulness in his voice.

"Now, I'm starting to see exactly how much of a grade A douche I've been." He let his hand fall from Cas', feeling tingles of delight when the angel didn't remove his hand.  
"Why did you do it?"

Castiel smiled for the first time in months, "Because I believe in you."

"Believe?" Dean asked a little sheepishly.

"Yes, Dean, believe."

Dean's eyes fell to the ground, "Damn, Cas. I thought…"

"You will never lose me, Dean, not my faith. You may try it at times, often times, but you will never truly lose it."

Cas' thumb ran softly over Dean's bruised lips. The feather touch caused Dean to let out a tiny gasp and the angel pressed his thumb against the slight opening of Dean's mouth, stroking down slowly, turning Dean's bottom lip out in a tantalizing pout, and gaining him a seductive moan.

A swift tongue darted out to taste Cas' skin, and he wanted more. His normally soft green eyes made deep and rich in the night's atmosphere. Dean's hands slipped to Cas' exposed chest, running lightly over the smooth skin- his wounds completely healed. Silently, Dean turned those deep eyes to his angel, begging for more.

The corners of Castiel's mouth twitched up as he pulled Dean closer to him, until their lips were a hair's breath apart, allowing himself to feel the heated, panted breathes coming from his hunter, before their lips met.

It was soft and desperate, offering everything each man was to the other.  
It was naked and base, the purest elements forging themselves together into something greater.

By the time they broke the kiss, both man and angel were flushed and breathless. Foreheads rubbed gently against each other as heavy breathes mingled between them. Dean's eyes slid closed, just feeling the world around him- the cool of the night air, the brush of Cas' hand over his skin, the heat of his breath, the ripple of his muscles when Dean kissed him again.  
He felt a faint gust of air and when Dean opened his eyes, they were inside. Exactly where, Dean didn't know and for once in his life didn't care. Cas was with him. Cas had _kissed_ him and brought him here.

They were both quiet, so quiet it was almost unearthly, but there were no words to say. Cas let Dean slide his tattered clothes off his shoulders as he walked them towards the bed. Dean ran his large hands over every expanse of skin before the angel broke the contact long enough to pull Dean's shirts over his head and push him down onto the bed. Then their hands were back, exploring each other, soft, breathy moans and gasps leading the way across lover's skin. Soon they were naked, bodies fitting together perfectly.

Cas loomed over Dean, his deceptively slight form, the home of an angel, so much more powerful than the mortal beneath him. Yet Dean looked on him with trusting, loving eyes- a sight so beautiful it took Cas' breath away. After all they'd been through, all their battles, and all their doubts, those eyes still trusted him. Tenderly, Castiel ran a finger down Dean's face loving the tiny shivers left in it's wake.

Dean gripped his angel's hips tightly, thrusting up against him.

Castiel moaned low in his throat, his eyes flashing with hunger as he pressed into Dean's thrust. They rocked together hard shafts tingling and twitching at every contact. Pre-cum seeped wantonly from the heads. Languid kisses and tender strokes stretching out their love making from rushed minutes to sated hours. Finally, when neither man could take much more, Cas eased away from his lover, materializing a bottle of lube from nowhere. He spread the slick substance liberally over his hand, before straddling Dean once again. The angel leant forward, kissing Dean softly, almost concealing the shocked gasp of his own finger penetrating his hole.

Dean's eyes widened as he instantly realized what his angel was doing- preparing himself for Dean. Strong arms wrapped tightly around Cas' body, holding him close. Dean slid his hand down Cas' back, over his firm ass until his found the slick fingers playing at Cas' entrance. He ran his fingers over and around Cas' slicking them with the movements. Gently, Dean eased his own finger alongside Cas', stretching him as their fingers caressed each other and the velvet cavern they were in.

Cas knew he needed more to be loose enough for Dean, and as he worked another finger inside he whimpered, burying his head in Dean's shoulder.

"More?" Dean asked in a hushed tone.

Not trusting his voice, Castiel nodded against Dean's shoulder.

The hunter kissed Cas' head, hoping the simple gesture would reassure his angel somewhat. This time it took more pressure and gentle working to get his finger to join the three already inside his angel. Inside him, their fingers twisted together loosening Cas and making him ready.

Together they eased their fingers out causing Cas to moan and keen at the loss. As Castiel caught his breath he sat up, rising over Dean, positioning himself to slide down onto Dean's steel flesh.

Dean took a deep breath, holding himself to ease his entrance into his angel. The smooth motion with which Cas slid down onto him was almost as amazing as the feel of being surrounded by his angel.

Cas whimpered at the intrusion, breathing shallowly until his body adjusted. It quickly went from painful to perfect. The feelings were amazing, like he had been missing a part of himself. A part that Dean filled in more ways than one.  
Slowly Cas began to rock against his hunter, the hard flesh moving inside him, petting him, making him feel alive. His body tingling with warmth and electricity. As the feelings mounted Cas rocked harder, faster.

Dean's hands going once again to the angel's hips guiding him as Cas rode him expertly. At this rate Dean wouldn't last long, especially after the hours of tantalizing and teasing they'd spent on each other already.  
With his hands firm on Cas' hips, Dean bucked into him, pushing into that bundle of nerves that would make Cas' world explode. And it did.

The angel screamed, back stiffening, body shaking.

Dean smiled mischievously at his angel, knowing he was making it good for him. He thrust into the angel, harder and harder, hitting that spot every time, so when he thrust that one finally time his angel came hard with spurts of hot sticky cum spreading over his chest as Dean filled him with his own heated release.

Breathless, Cas slipped off of Dean's softening cock, laying beside his hunter. His hand possessively resting over Dean's heart.

Dean turned on his side, facing his angel, running his hand down Cas' side happily. It had been too long since he'd been happy. Ignoring the mess on his chest, he scooted closer to Cas, his head propped on his arm, so he looked down at the angel. He wanted to say something, something he didn't ever say, something he didn't know if he could say even though he felt it and _knew_ it was true. He loved Cas, he could at least admit it to himself.

Cas, looked softly at the man he loved, reaching up to caress Dean's face. "I know," he whispered as he kissed Dean.  
With a thought he cleaned them and moved them under the blankets- Dean needed rest and he would give it to him. Cas slipped his arm around Dean's shoulders, pulling him until he rested on the angel's chest and holding him there.

Dean thought about protesting, he wasn't a girl and he didn't cuddle, but Cas felt so good, so perfect that he couldn't manage to argue, so he let himself fall into Cas' embrace, safe and happy- his angel was alive and with him, maybe even still believed in him.  
The Apocalypse could wait until morning.


End file.
